Identifying Isiah’s body

Well this day was a horrid day.. this day I have to travel to Adelaide and identify my sons body.. this day was one of the worst days in history for me.. 

so I get in the car, my father In law has offered to drive us to Adelaide so my husband can comfort me and to ensure our safety because realistically he wouldn’t of been able to drive without distraction (emotionally) 

So we get to Adelaide with some time to spare the men go for a walk up the street and I decide to sit at a cafe and have a cappuccino.. my stomach is in knots.. I’m hiding under sunnies and my hood is over my head I’m trying to cover as much of my face as I can.. 

I just want to cry and scream.. see I have a fear of dead things humans, pests etc.. so today I’m facing a fears.. 

my family didn’t know I was in Adelaide I kept it from them cos honestly who wants to hear something so morbid and to be honest I’m still hoping to walk into this place and the person not be my son (not that I’d want this to be anyone’s child) 

Well it’s time to go to the Forensic science place and face what’s about to happen.. 

we walk into the building and is met by a police officer, they take us out of the building and walk down an alley to another small building.. we are lead inside and there’s a room ahead of me.. we are shown into the room.. 

in this room is 2 chairs and a curtain.. as I sit down on the chair the officer pulls the curtain back which shows a window and on the other side of that window is my son.. 

I let out the most horrific scream and start crying uncontrollably.. this scream haunts me to this day.. 

my husband comforts me while I’m crying.. my father in law leaves the room so he can process and give us some privacy..

I drag my chair closer to the window and just sit staring at my handsome son.. so lifeless.. 

 i even stand closer to the window just looking at my son hoping he’ll breathe and move.. still hoping this isn’t true and my eyes are playing tricks on me.. 

 at some stage my husband even l leaves the room so I sit and talk with Isiah.. I Tell him I love him and I hope grandma (my nana) takes good care of him..  I even sit and think how am I gonna do life with all this heartache.. 

the thought of the future or even the next day was scary.. 

I got to sit with Isiah for a few hours.. 

As we are leaving the city I notice a random person dressed as a panda.. we are on our way back home to port Augusta, my head is resting on my husbands lap.. I’m emotional and I’m drained from all the crying and howling.. the sun is in my eyes and cover me in sunshine plays on the radio so now when I hear this song it’ll remind me of Isiah.. 

I get home and I’ve got visitors waiting for me.. some family have travelled from out of town to lay their respects..